Talk:Harold Oliver (Australian footballer)/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 15:58, 30 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I will be reviewing this against the GA criteria as part of a GAN sweep. I'll leave some comments soon. JAGUAR 15:58, 30 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Disambiguations: No links found.

Linkrot: No linkrot found in this article.

Checking against the GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Can Australian rules football be linked to anything? Is it any different to regular football?

"He was the son of Cornish immigrant parents James Oliver and Sarah Mill" - remove 'parents' and just write He was the son of Cornish immigrants James Oliver and Sarah Mill

"After being close to retiring from the game after World War I he returned to captain Port Adelaide to the 1921 SAFL premiership" - link World War I here

"This is despite never having won the Magarey Medal, somewhat a result of his career being interrupted by World War I" unlink it here

I think the first three sections could be merged into one section, or have it as three level 3 headers under one level 2 header per MOS guidelines

Move the quote box to the right in the Port Adelaide Football Club (1910–1922) section

The latter half of the Port Adelaide Football Club (1910–1922) section should be merged into one big paragraph.

"He kicked 28 goals in the 1912 SAFL season.[17] At the end of the 1912 SAFL season he would be awarded his second consecutive Port Adelaide Best and Fairest." - unsourced

"In 1913 Port Adelaide won the 1913 SAFL premiership and the 1913 Championship of Australia by defeating VFL premier Fitzroy." - unsourced

"War years in Berri (1916–1919)" section unsourced

"One of his close friends William Powell sent him a letter during his time serving that included a short paragraph" - bad grammar

"and that others were exclaiming "OLIVER" whilst playing the Australian game." - why is Oliver in capital letters?

The Reputation section has choppy prose and should be merged into one big paragraph for a better flow
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
No original research found.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Infobox image needs a caption
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

I'm really sorry to do this but it doesn't meet the GA criteria at the moment. There are some issues which stand in the way, including unsourced claims, organisation, and a few prose issues. I'd be happy to review this again once all of the issues are addressed. JAGUAR 20:04, 30 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]